Private Editors. is now available on iTunes. Hooray. That New Year's Resolution I made over a year ago was fully accomplished.
I've been steadily working on ANOMIE. Sorry to sound repetitive. I uploaded another song to my myspace, "Buttercup." Kinda goes against the constitution of the album, but nonetheless I found it pertinent, because I am human, I relapse like the best of them.
I am hoping to do more travel in a few months, on a more extreme measure than just a south/west coast venture. I really want it to affect me as an artist, positively, I want to grow. I want to record sounds from foreign places and use them in songs. I think this could be useful.
So far, I have 12 tracks for ANOMIE... I'm debating whether or not I want to remove Buttercup and add a different track. Depends on how fast I get sick of it.
xo
misu
17 April 2008
10 March 2008
siamese dream
I'm in a foul mood, easily distracted. I lost my debit card somehow last night and can't find it. That sucks. I cancelled it fortunately, but now I'm shit out of luck for the next 10-14 business days.
Anyway, I completed "Trainwreck" a few days ago and have it available to hear on myspace. I purchased the domain name www.mytaramisu.com the other day and will be making my own website.
I have a raging headache. It's circulating around my skull as though someone has attached a tremolo pedal to my cerebrum and they keep stomping on that shit, over and over round and round. i want my card back. sonofabitch.
The other morning it snowed. I woke up just in time to watch it. It resembled dandruff. Winter's last layer of skin, shedding in the air. Mother nature's bright idea. I had an extremely intense dream and woke up at 7:30 am. This was right after I was somewhere else, walking down a street in New Orleans after visiting with someone of my past, in secret. His mother had told him to wake up, that it was 9:30. But it was really 7:30 and I realized it as I was juxtaposed to that n'awlins street. So bizarre. I said out loud, "She lied to him" and then I woke up and it really was 7:30. It was kind of an awful dream altogether, involving copious amounts of sex and bad memories. And it was so damn vivid that I almost felt sick. I would've much rather dreamt about someone I'd currently want to sleep with, not this person. So while I watched mother nature's dandruff floating around, I thought about him and wondered if he had shared the dream because it was too intense for just myself. A "Siamese Dream" if you will. Good call on an album name, Smashing Pumpkins. Good call.
Anyway, I completed "Trainwreck" a few days ago and have it available to hear on myspace. I purchased the domain name www.mytaramisu.com the other day and will be making my own website.
I have a raging headache. It's circulating around my skull as though someone has attached a tremolo pedal to my cerebrum and they keep stomping on that shit, over and over round and round. i want my card back. sonofabitch.
The other morning it snowed. I woke up just in time to watch it. It resembled dandruff. Winter's last layer of skin, shedding in the air. Mother nature's bright idea. I had an extremely intense dream and woke up at 7:30 am. This was right after I was somewhere else, walking down a street in New Orleans after visiting with someone of my past, in secret. His mother had told him to wake up, that it was 9:30. But it was really 7:30 and I realized it as I was juxtaposed to that n'awlins street. So bizarre. I said out loud, "She lied to him" and then I woke up and it really was 7:30. It was kind of an awful dream altogether, involving copious amounts of sex and bad memories. And it was so damn vivid that I almost felt sick. I would've much rather dreamt about someone I'd currently want to sleep with, not this person. So while I watched mother nature's dandruff floating around, I thought about him and wondered if he had shared the dream because it was too intense for just myself. A "Siamese Dream" if you will. Good call on an album name, Smashing Pumpkins. Good call.
28 February 2008
private editors...
whatcha think of the cover?
I'm thisclose to getting private editors. wrapped up. Unlike ANOMIE, it is my first album. Originally with 12 tracks but I decided to ditch one and keep it at 11. I've been going back constantly and reworking volume levels, tighten loose ends, and get it finished so I can finally have it available on iTunes. Originally I wanted to just shelf it and that be that, but I had a change of heart. Partially because I'm broke, but also as part of the learning experience so that whenever ANOMIE decides to be finished, I'll have more knowledge based on prior experience...and mistakes. :)
I was driving to my mom's today when a song started singing itself in my ear and it was fantastically cynical and too good not to write down. Whether or not I'll execute it properly is a completely different story. However, I had to repeat the verses over and over for an hour and a half until I got home and was able to sit down and write it out. I really want to either invest or "borrow" a program, such as Reason, to make better drum tracks. The ones I have all pretty much suck, some are worse/better than others.
On another note, since I have returned home, it's been a very confusing transition but at the same time, familiar as well. Being jobless at the moment has left me feeling a bit unstable, and sometimes this certain unstability provides something to sing about, but other times it leaves me feeling so spaced and unorganized that I can't seem to focus and make things happen. But I've also started to develop an awareness fairly quickly when I know nothing's going to come about it at certain times and to just put it away before I drive myself crazy trying to produce something. The song I wrote today, I feel, has some serious potential if I can just bring it to life full force. It's a bit of a fuck you, but metaphorical and sweet. I haven't yet made a song about this particular situation from my life, and it has deserved one, but it also deserved some time away from it so I could sit back and really write things for what they are. Or were. Ha.
Thanks for reading. xo
taramisu
20 February 2008
what am i writing about??
sometimes i hit a brick wall, hard. other times i write something i think is worthwhile and to the point, then i go back and read it the next day and recognize its harshness. sometimes being harsh is necessary, othertimes it's hurtful and unwarranted and sometimes there are things i'm better at keeping to myself. That is, unless, I can find a better way of putting it.
i find myself wanting to gravitate toward writing about what fueled my last collection. then i scold myself. "write about you." but what is there about me? there's a lot about me. i'm just trying to figure all of that out and still make it sound interesting. i'm just used to writing about someone else. it's not even like they're still present in my mind, it's something i'm comfortable with and get good usage of words in describing temperate feelings, cravings, urgencies.
i wrote something last night that was not necessarily made for song. i was angry about something i do not wish to disclose, but i went back and read it today and immediately destroyed it. it's not that i regret writing it, but i would've regretted it had certain people read it or heard it.
just what is the theme i am trying to convey with ANOMIE? well, several things. Me coming to terms with myself, who i am, heightened awareness of it, and yet, a dissociation with it. observing my contradictory traits. coming clean about the yearn to love someone but also my extreme hesitation to do so. my past. who i am as a daughter. my femininity versus my need to be strong and tough. me vs. myself.
there's only so much i can write about. i want to dig deeper with metaphors and really carry some out. once i get back to atlanta i'm going to look into some slide guitar sounds, my resources are a bit limited where i'm at at the moment.
more to come later...
thanks for reading.
taramisu
i find myself wanting to gravitate toward writing about what fueled my last collection. then i scold myself. "write about you." but what is there about me? there's a lot about me. i'm just trying to figure all of that out and still make it sound interesting. i'm just used to writing about someone else. it's not even like they're still present in my mind, it's something i'm comfortable with and get good usage of words in describing temperate feelings, cravings, urgencies.
i wrote something last night that was not necessarily made for song. i was angry about something i do not wish to disclose, but i went back and read it today and immediately destroyed it. it's not that i regret writing it, but i would've regretted it had certain people read it or heard it.
just what is the theme i am trying to convey with ANOMIE? well, several things. Me coming to terms with myself, who i am, heightened awareness of it, and yet, a dissociation with it. observing my contradictory traits. coming clean about the yearn to love someone but also my extreme hesitation to do so. my past. who i am as a daughter. my femininity versus my need to be strong and tough. me vs. myself.
there's only so much i can write about. i want to dig deeper with metaphors and really carry some out. once i get back to atlanta i'm going to look into some slide guitar sounds, my resources are a bit limited where i'm at at the moment.
more to come later...
thanks for reading.
taramisu
17 February 2008
In Houston...
Currently I am in Houston, another destination spot on my road trip. It's crazy to think of all the cities I have encountered during my month- and-a-half long trip thus far. I want to make a list.
I left Atlanta January 11. These are the cities and towns I've spent more time in than just pumping some gas or taking a piss. I feel like I'm on tour. In a way I am. I just wish I could be paid to do this.
1. Tucson, AZ
2. San Diego, CA
3. Los Angeles, CA
4. Portland, OR
5. Seattle, WA
6. Las Vegas, NV
7. El Paso, TX
8. Ft. Stockton, TX
9. Austin, TX
10. Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
11. Houston, TX
There's more to be added. I intend to drive through New Orleans although I've been advised against it from my mother. I've already received two speeding tickets (both in Texas), a parking ticket in San Diego, and my credit card bill ain't gonna look pretty after spending a couple of nights in hotel rooms and renting a car in the northwest. But it's necessary. I've needed this. I need answers to gaps and spaces in my life, questions with pauses reflecting who's and what's and where's. I don't give myself enough credit sometimes, then I go and give myself too much. I crave balance.
One thing is for sure, I've found much inspiration I desired when I took off. I've managed to record four songs thus far for ANOMIE. Whether or not they are fully finished is yet to be determined, but they feel finished in the sense that all they need is polishing, and they have names. Names are important, despite popular belief.
My grandmother died a year ago today. Weird to think about. Also strange that she was the last of my blood-grandparents to still be alive. I want my parents to watch me grow older, and I say that unselfishly because I want them to enjoy the things grandparents love. Does that mean I'm admitting I'll have children one day? Ugh, maybe, but not any time soon. My parents had me late in life. I suppose I'd want them more to enjoy being in-laws. If I ever get married. Ugh. I know these uncertain years pass. Things feel more sane, even though life grows more and more complicated the older we become. Seems like writing and recording gives me a sense of sanity I can't find much elsewhere, other than being on the road. I need to find a band so we can do this all the time.
Last night I saw the Liars in Austin. I saw them a few weeks ago in Portland. Crazy to think they probably have not been home since I last saw them, as I have not either. One thing that really stuck out to me is how much a venue has an impact on a band's performance. At the Wonder Ballroom in Portland, they had so much space to really captivate the audience and make it surreal. On the other hand, at the Mohawk in Austin, they had such a small space. It was outside in cold air, and the lead singer did not have nearly as much room to do his thing, whether it was stretching his arms out with oblivious intentions or brooding around in a zombie-like fashion. And he didn't have his red balloon! Bummer. Portland's venue was much more forgiving, as was generous. The way it was designed gave them a marionette-like appearance, with the elevated stage and arched overhead. And the sound was quality. It felt like stepping into a dark fantasy, the members of the band zoned in and melodramatic in their parts, heads in the audience simultaneously bobbing with the two drummers, periodically and steadfast. In Austin it was different. The music was the same but the vibe was discombobulated. They were not marionettes. They were cold, and the lead singer's movements seemed much more staged and forced. Maybe it's because it was the second time I saw them, so my opinion may be skewed. Nonetheless, this does not take away the notion that where you play holds just as much importance as what you play. It encourages inflection, whether positive or negative is up to the venue and audience.
I'm craving ambient guitar to put on my next track, I found this opening band (nameless to me, unfortunately) at the Mohawk to be inspiring. They were young but had talent. They played inside, and the sound of one note gliding to the next without pause or stutter was warm. Reminded me a little of Yo La Tengo or My Morning Jacket. I want to learn to play a better guitar and an electric one at that. I want to improve and grow. Not quite ready to settle.
I left Atlanta January 11. These are the cities and towns I've spent more time in than just pumping some gas or taking a piss. I feel like I'm on tour. In a way I am. I just wish I could be paid to do this.
1. Tucson, AZ
2. San Diego, CA
3. Los Angeles, CA
4. Portland, OR
5. Seattle, WA
6. Las Vegas, NV
7. El Paso, TX
8. Ft. Stockton, TX
9. Austin, TX
10. Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
11. Houston, TX
There's more to be added. I intend to drive through New Orleans although I've been advised against it from my mother. I've already received two speeding tickets (both in Texas), a parking ticket in San Diego, and my credit card bill ain't gonna look pretty after spending a couple of nights in hotel rooms and renting a car in the northwest. But it's necessary. I've needed this. I need answers to gaps and spaces in my life, questions with pauses reflecting who's and what's and where's. I don't give myself enough credit sometimes, then I go and give myself too much. I crave balance.
One thing is for sure, I've found much inspiration I desired when I took off. I've managed to record four songs thus far for ANOMIE. Whether or not they are fully finished is yet to be determined, but they feel finished in the sense that all they need is polishing, and they have names. Names are important, despite popular belief.
My grandmother died a year ago today. Weird to think about. Also strange that she was the last of my blood-grandparents to still be alive. I want my parents to watch me grow older, and I say that unselfishly because I want them to enjoy the things grandparents love. Does that mean I'm admitting I'll have children one day? Ugh, maybe, but not any time soon. My parents had me late in life. I suppose I'd want them more to enjoy being in-laws. If I ever get married. Ugh. I know these uncertain years pass. Things feel more sane, even though life grows more and more complicated the older we become. Seems like writing and recording gives me a sense of sanity I can't find much elsewhere, other than being on the road. I need to find a band so we can do this all the time.
Last night I saw the Liars in Austin. I saw them a few weeks ago in Portland. Crazy to think they probably have not been home since I last saw them, as I have not either. One thing that really stuck out to me is how much a venue has an impact on a band's performance. At the Wonder Ballroom in Portland, they had so much space to really captivate the audience and make it surreal. On the other hand, at the Mohawk in Austin, they had such a small space. It was outside in cold air, and the lead singer did not have nearly as much room to do his thing, whether it was stretching his arms out with oblivious intentions or brooding around in a zombie-like fashion. And he didn't have his red balloon! Bummer. Portland's venue was much more forgiving, as was generous. The way it was designed gave them a marionette-like appearance, with the elevated stage and arched overhead. And the sound was quality. It felt like stepping into a dark fantasy, the members of the band zoned in and melodramatic in their parts, heads in the audience simultaneously bobbing with the two drummers, periodically and steadfast. In Austin it was different. The music was the same but the vibe was discombobulated. They were not marionettes. They were cold, and the lead singer's movements seemed much more staged and forced. Maybe it's because it was the second time I saw them, so my opinion may be skewed. Nonetheless, this does not take away the notion that where you play holds just as much importance as what you play. It encourages inflection, whether positive or negative is up to the venue and audience.
I'm craving ambient guitar to put on my next track, I found this opening band (nameless to me, unfortunately) at the Mohawk to be inspiring. They were young but had talent. They played inside, and the sound of one note gliding to the next without pause or stutter was warm. Reminded me a little of Yo La Tengo or My Morning Jacket. I want to learn to play a better guitar and an electric one at that. I want to improve and grow. Not quite ready to settle.
15 February 2008
no really, how do you do it?
if you're looking for immediate answers, look somewhere else. i'm no professional. i'm not corporate. i'm no bleach blonde-turned ravenette who sucks off music execs in turn for a contract or a chance to appear in a video dry-humping the hood of a maserati.
i'm just a chick with a mac, trying to raise the roof of mediocrity.
to me, mediocrity isn't necessarily bad. in fact, it's a good start. there are tens upon thousands upon millions of people on this earth, and a good portion of them are musicians. if i expected or even had the balls to claim i was one of the best of that astrological number, that would be preposterous and arrogant. i prefer to think rationally, however impulsive, right-brained, and manic i may be. save that top tier for mozart and buckley, billie and carole, god there's more but i don't have the time, plus it's subjective anyway so who gives a rat's ass who i think rules the musical kingdom. except mozart, yes. that man was a fucking genius and i WILL NOT sway in that argument.
anyway, mediocrity. it has such a sour taste on our tongues, better yet, bland and unflavorful. but considering that all music has tiers of good, bad and in-between, it's only necessary to appreciate the in-between as having the potential to be approachable and relatable. i want my mediocrity to taste homemade, sweet and personal, shitty in its own right. i want my songs to be like falling for the imperfections of someone, chipped teeth or two inches-too short. imperfections make something individually perfect. that's my definition of raising the roof.
i recorded my first album in 2007, based on a new year's resolution and an unreachable itch. it didn't actually start happening until i finally listened to the voice of reason and switched from pc to mac. the album has a ton of flaws, no arguing that, but for me it was the principle of writing, recording and producing it on my own that made it valuable. i never sold it to anyone, just gave it as gifts to people i thought would take the time to listen, as several of the twelve tracks were intensely personal. it was my profession of love since i was too chicken-shit to do it in person. i think it was better i did it in song, because contrary to the idealistic standard, i would've made a complete ass of myself had i done it in person and that just wasn't worth it to me.
but this next album will be different.
i purged the main organs of that previous body in my last album and am resolving to produce an album that is about my existance, not someone else's and the impact they had on me. it is pertinent i do this, in order to come closer and fully understand who it is i am and what i am trying to accomplish in my life. at the risk of sounding cliche, there's a source of therapy in recording music, but it is not comparable to other forms. after i produce a successful song (by my personal standards, obviously), it feels like a supernatural source stuck its fingers inside my soul and pulled leaches off. i am not a miserable person, but i do have my baggage like most (interesting) people. the therapy of recording an album is essentially trading a bowling bag for a light-weight disc or series of mpegs, layers of tracks on garageband, so on. who gets the bag, i do not know. hopefully they will find the treasure in it, as i strive to make gems out of them in my songs.
i will be updating this blog as often as i can, detailing my experience with producing ANOMIE, because this time i want to really do something with it, rather than pass it along as christmas gifts. i have a heartfelt, sincere appreciation for low-fidelity sound, homemade, recorded in the bedroom sort of music. shitty in its quality but a diamond in the rough. i know there are others out there who share my appreciation for this somewhat-secretive genre, and if they are budding musicians who want to also produce an album on their own, i hope that this blog will be approachable and relatable, as well as beautifully mediocre.
i'm just a chick with a mac, trying to raise the roof of mediocrity.
to me, mediocrity isn't necessarily bad. in fact, it's a good start. there are tens upon thousands upon millions of people on this earth, and a good portion of them are musicians. if i expected or even had the balls to claim i was one of the best of that astrological number, that would be preposterous and arrogant. i prefer to think rationally, however impulsive, right-brained, and manic i may be. save that top tier for mozart and buckley, billie and carole, god there's more but i don't have the time, plus it's subjective anyway so who gives a rat's ass who i think rules the musical kingdom. except mozart, yes. that man was a fucking genius and i WILL NOT sway in that argument.
anyway, mediocrity. it has such a sour taste on our tongues, better yet, bland and unflavorful. but considering that all music has tiers of good, bad and in-between, it's only necessary to appreciate the in-between as having the potential to be approachable and relatable. i want my mediocrity to taste homemade, sweet and personal, shitty in its own right. i want my songs to be like falling for the imperfections of someone, chipped teeth or two inches-too short. imperfections make something individually perfect. that's my definition of raising the roof.
i recorded my first album in 2007, based on a new year's resolution and an unreachable itch. it didn't actually start happening until i finally listened to the voice of reason and switched from pc to mac. the album has a ton of flaws, no arguing that, but for me it was the principle of writing, recording and producing it on my own that made it valuable. i never sold it to anyone, just gave it as gifts to people i thought would take the time to listen, as several of the twelve tracks were intensely personal. it was my profession of love since i was too chicken-shit to do it in person. i think it was better i did it in song, because contrary to the idealistic standard, i would've made a complete ass of myself had i done it in person and that just wasn't worth it to me.
but this next album will be different.
i purged the main organs of that previous body in my last album and am resolving to produce an album that is about my existance, not someone else's and the impact they had on me. it is pertinent i do this, in order to come closer and fully understand who it is i am and what i am trying to accomplish in my life. at the risk of sounding cliche, there's a source of therapy in recording music, but it is not comparable to other forms. after i produce a successful song (by my personal standards, obviously), it feels like a supernatural source stuck its fingers inside my soul and pulled leaches off. i am not a miserable person, but i do have my baggage like most (interesting) people. the therapy of recording an album is essentially trading a bowling bag for a light-weight disc or series of mpegs, layers of tracks on garageband, so on. who gets the bag, i do not know. hopefully they will find the treasure in it, as i strive to make gems out of them in my songs.
i will be updating this blog as often as i can, detailing my experience with producing ANOMIE, because this time i want to really do something with it, rather than pass it along as christmas gifts. i have a heartfelt, sincere appreciation for low-fidelity sound, homemade, recorded in the bedroom sort of music. shitty in its quality but a diamond in the rough. i know there are others out there who share my appreciation for this somewhat-secretive genre, and if they are budding musicians who want to also produce an album on their own, i hope that this blog will be approachable and relatable, as well as beautifully mediocre.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
