what am i writing about??

sometimes i hit a brick wall, hard. other times i write something i think is worthwhile and to the point, then i go back and read it the next day and recognize its harshness. sometimes being harsh is necessary, othertimes it's hurtful and unwarranted and sometimes there are things i'm better at keeping to myself. That is, unless, I can find a better way of putting it.

i find myself wanting to gravitate toward writing about what fueled my last collection. then i scold myself. "write about you." but what is there about me? there's a lot about me. i'm just trying to figure all of that out and still make it sound interesting. i'm just used to writing about someone else. it's not even like they're still present in my mind, it's something i'm comfortable with and get good usage of words in describing temperate feelings, cravings, urgencies.

i wrote something last night that was not necessarily made for song. i was angry about something i do not wish to disclose, but i went back and read it today and immediately destroyed it. it's not that i regret writing it, but i would've regretted it had certain people read it or heard it.

just what is the theme i am trying to convey with ANOMIE? well, several things. Me coming to terms with myself, who i am, heightened awareness of it, and yet, a dissociation with it. observing my contradictory traits. coming clean about the yearn to love someone but also my extreme hesitation to do so. my past. who i am as a daughter. my femininity versus my need to be strong and tough. me vs. myself.

there's only so much i can write about. i want to dig deeper with metaphors and really carry some out. once i get back to atlanta i'm going to look into some slide guitar sounds, my resources are a bit limited where i'm at at the moment.

more to come later...
thanks for reading.

taramisu