Currently I am in Houston, another destination spot on my road trip. It's crazy to think of all the cities I have encountered during my month- and-a-half long trip thus far. I want to make a list.
I left Atlanta January 11. These are the cities and towns I've spent more time in than just pumping some gas or taking a piss. I feel like I'm on tour. In a way I am. I just wish I could be paid to do this.
1. Tucson, AZ
2. San Diego, CA
3. Los Angeles, CA
4. Portland, OR
5. Seattle, WA
6. Las Vegas, NV
7. El Paso, TX
8. Ft. Stockton, TX
9. Austin, TX
10. Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
11. Houston, TX
There's more to be added. I intend to drive through New Orleans although I've been advised against it from my mother. I've already received two speeding tickets (both in Texas), a parking ticket in San Diego, and my credit card bill ain't gonna look pretty after spending a couple of nights in hotel rooms and renting a car in the northwest. But it's necessary. I've needed this. I need answers to gaps and spaces in my life, questions with pauses reflecting who's and what's and where's. I don't give myself enough credit sometimes, then I go and give myself too much. I crave balance.
One thing is for sure, I've found much inspiration I desired when I took off. I've managed to record four songs thus far for ANOMIE. Whether or not they are fully finished is yet to be determined, but they feel finished in the sense that all they need is polishing, and they have names. Names are important, despite popular belief.
My grandmother died a year ago today. Weird to think about. Also strange that she was the last of my blood-grandparents to still be alive. I want my parents to watch me grow older, and I say that unselfishly because I want them to enjoy the things grandparents love. Does that mean I'm admitting I'll have children one day? Ugh, maybe, but not any time soon. My parents had me late in life. I suppose I'd want them more to enjoy being in-laws. If I ever get married. Ugh. I know these uncertain years pass. Things feel more sane, even though life grows more and more complicated the older we become. Seems like writing and recording gives me a sense of sanity I can't find much elsewhere, other than being on the road. I need to find a band so we can do this all the time.
Last night I saw the Liars in Austin. I saw them a few weeks ago in Portland. Crazy to think they probably have not been home since I last saw them, as I have not either. One thing that really stuck out to me is how much a venue has an impact on a band's performance. At the Wonder Ballroom in Portland, they had so much space to really captivate the audience and make it surreal. On the other hand, at the Mohawk in Austin, they had such a small space. It was outside in cold air, and the lead singer did not have nearly as much room to do his thing, whether it was stretching his arms out with oblivious intentions or brooding around in a zombie-like fashion. And he didn't have his red balloon! Bummer. Portland's venue was much more forgiving, as was generous. The way it was designed gave them a marionette-like appearance, with the elevated stage and arched overhead. And the sound was quality. It felt like stepping into a dark fantasy, the members of the band zoned in and melodramatic in their parts, heads in the audience simultaneously bobbing with the two drummers, periodically and steadfast. In Austin it was different. The music was the same but the vibe was discombobulated. They were not marionettes. They were cold, and the lead singer's movements seemed much more staged and forced. Maybe it's because it was the second time I saw them, so my opinion may be skewed. Nonetheless, this does not take away the notion that where you play holds just as much importance as what you play. It encourages inflection, whether positive or negative is up to the venue and audience.
I'm craving ambient guitar to put on my next track, I found this opening band (nameless to me, unfortunately) at the Mohawk to be inspiring. They were young but had talent. They played inside, and the sound of one note gliding to the next without pause or stutter was warm. Reminded me a little of Yo La Tengo or My Morning Jacket. I want to learn to play a better guitar and an electric one at that. I want to improve and grow. Not quite ready to settle.
